the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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