that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
