left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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