Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
