I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
