please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize