he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
