Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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