just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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