If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
