You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
