I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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