wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
