i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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