I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
