Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize