So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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