My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
