don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
