He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize