I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
