You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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