I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
