After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
tell me about the eggs
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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