Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
