just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
