is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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