i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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