Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize