he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
