we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
