Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm too high and old for this...
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize