I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
