youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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