You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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