still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
