More tranny stories later!
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
