She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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