the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
