I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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