billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
