Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
