I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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