I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sorry about my life...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
