hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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