ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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