I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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