oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
