Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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