you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
