I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
And then the night went full on bisexual.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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