oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
