he wants to bone in the snuggie
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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