I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
