let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
