What did we do last night that was yellow?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
