Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
