I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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