I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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