Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Dicks are not precious.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
