I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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