Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
