Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
