I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize