PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize