If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
