I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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