ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
