make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
