I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
