i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
