bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
