I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
