The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
