she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
