morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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