Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Drunk is a universal language darling
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