Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Even my vagina gasped.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize